Wow, am I in love with myself or what? Every blog seems to revolve around me. What I think, where I’ve been, what I’ve done, who I am, egocentric much? And this one is no different, though I’m going to try to use it as a base to understanding why I’m so focused on myself.
Now idk if everyone feels the same about themselves, that they know better than everyone else, or their experiences or opinions are more valid than others, but I find myself thinking these thoughts, but at the same time chastising myself for feeling that way, because I know that is NOT the truth. However the battle remains within me. The questions continually bombard my thoughts:
How can people be so stupid?
Are people really that ignorant?
Why are people so greedy?
Don’t people see the obvious?
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Now I don’t feel this way about the people who are directly in my life, because I’m blessed that I have a wonderful family that includes blood, marital, church and friends, so I don’t include them in my frustration with the general populous.
Even so what gives me such an arrogant perspective? I am not highly educated, nor born of aristocracy or wealth, I haven’t traversed the planet with unending tales of experiences, yet I put myself on such a platform as a well-versed sage. To what end I ask myself? Is it really about me and my self-professed wisdom, or do I really think I can help and encourage others, or is it a way to weed through my thoughts and validate or dispel fact from fiction? Or maybe a combination of them all. So do I really think I am the most level-headed, intelligent, knowledgable, informed and experienced person on the planet? No, I do not. Nor do I even come close. So what compels me to feel like I am better than those people who I view as clueless? I’m searching my mind for an answer even as I write this. Ugh! I can not think of a valid reason other than I am some self-absorbed egocentric deluded fool. Yes a fool for thinking I’m better & smarter.
However as frustrating as I find ignorance and stupidity, there will always be someone who views me in the same light and rightfully so. Well then, I think I’ve found my answer. It’s not to judge, condemn or ridicule anyone for any reason. It’s to understand that the world is filled with billions of people each with their own limits; intellectually, socially, economically, physically, psychologically and so forth. And I am not called to be their judge or accuser but to be a beacon of hope, a path of light, an example of Christ’s love. So yes my blogs are filled with me for I can only call on my experiences as references for my life. And I hope that my blogs reflect the side of me that is Christian, as I continue to grow in Christ’s love. Hopefully I will continue to understand my faults and shortcomings, learn from them and adjust them to better serve God.
And I do love me, not because I am better than everyone else, but because God loves me just the way I am. He has given me hope and comfort. And at times when I feel alone, lost, confused, desperate, angry, that my faith is fleeting, there’s nothing to look forward to, the world is in turmoil, and I’m surrounded by people in need, there is God in all His glory to remind me that He is in control. Not me. He knows all. Not me. He loves me and I love Him.
It is in Him that we are made complete. God is love. My lesson is complete. Thank You Lord for teaching me once again.